Well, this is it, the 22. The much-anticipated anniversary of my mother's death. As I do every year, I set the day apart for myself, taking it off work, and building in some down time for reflection, some opportunities for service in her memory, and some self-indulgent "distractions" (this year, a flying lesson).
I suppose everyone is expecting some deep, serious, insightful blog from me today, but I am sorry to report, you are not going to get it. :P
Despite my best efforts to sleep in, I woke up at my usual 6:45 a.m. The dog is having an X-ray today to determine how many hundreds or thousands of dollars we will need to spend on him next week. The boys are up, excited about the advent of Christmas Eve, and my brain is full of guilt for not having practised diligently enough for my guitar lesson this afternoon. And, I am still lamenting the fact that I only got 97% success rate when I attempted a practise PSTAR test online late last night before finally going to bed!
So, it turns out, you can't summon grief. It hits at the most inconvenient times, and is strangely absent when one might think it ought to be appropriate. There are rituals I will continue to perform this month (and especially this day) every year, in honour of my mother, but today, 16 years after the event that divides my life in two distinct parts, promises (so far) to be just another ordinary day.
Strange.
I suppose everyone is expecting some deep, serious, insightful blog from me today, but I am sorry to report, you are not going to get it. :P
Despite my best efforts to sleep in, I woke up at my usual 6:45 a.m. The dog is having an X-ray today to determine how many hundreds or thousands of dollars we will need to spend on him next week. The boys are up, excited about the advent of Christmas Eve, and my brain is full of guilt for not having practised diligently enough for my guitar lesson this afternoon. And, I am still lamenting the fact that I only got 97% success rate when I attempted a practise PSTAR test online late last night before finally going to bed!
So, it turns out, you can't summon grief. It hits at the most inconvenient times, and is strangely absent when one might think it ought to be appropriate. There are rituals I will continue to perform this month (and especially this day) every year, in honour of my mother, but today, 16 years after the event that divides my life in two distinct parts, promises (so far) to be just another ordinary day.
Strange.
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