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How to do NYE when you’re old and boring

12/31/2019

I must be getting old. Either that, or I’m suffering from low grade depression or something. When my partner invited me to join her on a layover in New York for New Year’s Eve 2019, all I could think about was how awesome it would be to instead get home from work, change into my jammies and lounge around on the couch.

If Seinfeld had the summer of George, I’m having the NYE of Vera... and so far, it’s awesome!

After a horrible week spent mostly in bed with fever and a resultant loss of appetite on account of having an awful cold/sinus infection, I found my tastebuds slowly regaining their passion this afternoon. Consequently, I elected to order in through Uber Eats, and tried out a new Indian restaurant.

With my partner away at work and my kids away at a party, I had a whole quiet evening to myself. And after getting ripped off with Christmas, being sick and all, I was looking forward to some quality downtime with myself!

Unlike George’s summer, this evening did not disappoint: In addition to devouring my tasty Indian dinner, I reviewed a little math, studied some flight stuff, and started a new music app to learn to play blues chords on the piano.

Afterwards, I spend some time prepping a handout for one of my Airbnb Experiences, “Learn German and Eat Potato Salad”, for which I have a booking tomorrow.

In an effort to add value but reduce paper, I’ve been creating and providing electronic “handouts” for some of my experiences, which I use during the experience itself. Last week I made a plane spotting “bingo card” for my “Discover the Secret World of Aviation” experience, and tonight I made a visual language reference for the “Kartoffelsalat” which we’ll be making and eating tomorrow.

Since it’s new year’s, I’m all alone, and I don’t really drink, I decided to splurge on a bubble tea, delivered directly to my door through Uber Eats. What with the delivery charge, small order surcharge and tip, it was ridiculously expensive, but kind of fun in a naughty sort of way - not the type of thing I would normally do! But, I haven’t had a bubble tea in SO. LONG. And besides, I would have spent way more had I actually hopped on the plane with my partner to New York. So I thought, hey, why not?!

The poor delivery guy got lost of course, as do all folks who trust in Google to get them to our secret, off the beaten path hideout, with with a few custom directions from the convenience of my couch, I soon had my bubble tea in hand.

If I were really on my own, I’d probably wrap up the NYE of Vera shortly, walk the dog, and then head to bed. But being a responsible parent of independent, young teenagers who are attending their first “real” party (their words, not mine), I feel somewhat compelled to stay up and ensure they actually arrive home at the appointed hour. (My colleagues with older kids warned of this stage years ago, when Alex and Simon were babies screaming all the time and wouldn’t sleep, and I was complaining of being tired - they wisely shared that the tired part wouldn’t end when the kids got older, since I would then/now be awake worrying about whether they were okay, and whether they’d get home safely. I guess we’ve finally entered that stage!)

Also I want to talk to my honey when the clock strikes 12 and she calls me in a drunken stupor from her dinner out with the crew at the hotel restaurant in Newark.

So it’s off to the next item on agenda of the Boring Old Person’s Stay-at-Home Guide to NYE: A little Netflix and dog snuggling... still in my jammies!

Good night, y’all, and in case I fall asleep on the couch before midnight, happy new year 2020!

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A Stopover in the Most Magical (and Safest?) Place on Earth

12/13/2019

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It was with mixed feelings that we booked our stay at Disneyland in Hong Kong this past month. It didn’t seem right, somehow, to be revelling in an amusement park while the city was struggling with the fallout of continuing protests.

The political situation had changed considerably in the week since we’d spent a night there on our way from Toronto to Phuket. Then we’d easily avoided the protests in and around Kowloon. Now schools were shut down, people had been hospitalized, and even the airport was on high security alert. The threat of increased violence permeated both the media and our imaginations as we considered our options for passing through this international hub on our way back home to Toronto.

We knew there was a Disneyland in Hong Kong, and that it was near the airport. And while we’d made a wide berth around it during our previous overnight a week earlier, now it was looking like actually possibly the safest and most convenient place to spend a night, given that we’d need to be at the airport again the next afternoon for our flight home (standby loads were looking good for the flight we had in mind, so we were pretty confident we’d get out).

Plus we’d read that there were all kinds of specials currently available, because of the significant decline in tourism to the area. Which also meant a basically deserted park. Which meant no giant crowds and long lines full of sheep. Which meant that at least some of the “issues” I had with places like Disneyland were no longer quite as significant. We also considered that for all its faults, Disneyland provides a huge number and diversity of jobs for the local economy. Supporting the resort at at time like this is probably important to the many people who work there and are wondering about their future job security.

So, we booked a room for one night, and threw in a character buffet breakfast and three tickets to the theme park. For the first time in all our lives, we were going to Disneyland!

Fancy Ass Hotels and Miles of Service

There were three hotels to choose from, all fairly similar in price. One featured an outdoor maze and a pool with a water slide. We picked that one, and although we never did get to the water slide pool, we were not disappointed.

Apart from the beautiful view from our window and the incredibly comfortable beds (which were very much appreciated, given the 15-hour flight ahead of us the next day), the many whimsical touches such as Seven Dwarves toiletries and shampoo and conditioners caps adorned with Mickey Mouse ears instilled a childish delight, even in those of us already over the hill!

From the moment a smiling service provider opens the lobby door for you, to the moment you enter the glittering breakfast buffet hall and are greeted by iconic characters and their smiling handlers, the place is loaded with customer-service oriented staff. (Granted, they were probably considerably less stressed with the thin crowds than they usually are; nevertheless, we were impressed.)

I couldn‘t believe how excited I felt to be greeted by Micky Mouse at breakfast! And Eyore was not far behind, making several visits to our table - really seemed to bond with Tats, Eyore did.

Each character had their own handler, and also a photographer who followed them around, taking pictures on professional cameras and scanning a card code that could be used throughout ones stay at the resort. This latter detail was intended to ease the pressure of recording the adventure, so that you could just feel free to enjoy said adventure. (This came at a price, of course, should one want to order actual prints later on, and we instead availed ourselves of the fact that the photographers also happily took photos of our little group on our own personal phones if requested. Still, it‘s a neat touch for those who want and can afford to just live in the moment for a day.)

A Perfect Day in Paradise

After breakfast and a meander through the hotel maze, we hopped aboard the free shuttle, and set off to the amusement park. We had about 6 hours before we had to head back to the airport for our flight home to Toronto, and we intended to make full use of every minute!

Apart from the sheer excitement of it all (and my partner’s indulgence of that wild abandon), three things conspired to make my first (and probably only) Disneyland experience particularly enjoyable: The weather, the (lack of) crowds and the music.

At low twenties Celsius all day with a light breeze off the water, it was the perfect temperature in which to be outside enjoying this beautiful masterpiece. Moreover, without the usual throngs of people, we were able to not only hop on whatever ride we wanted with little to no wait time, but were also able to see the incredible set up of the park‘s architecture so clearly. It‘s truly a magnificent place, with attention to detail in pop culture whimsy, physical accessibility and natural beauty around every corner.

Everything is just so well thought out!

Perhaps my favourite part of the whole adventure, or what contributed significantly to the stress free experience, was the noticeable absence of loud, annoying pop music. Instead, a Fantasia-like soundtrack played throughout most areas of the park, with the vast majority of music being classical and/or without words.

For my wildly distractedly auditory mind, it was a relief of enormous proportions, and allowed me to feast my eyes of the many visual delights that surrounded us.

Everything was just so fun! Plenty of friendly „cast members“ (customer service folks) are on hand at any given time, and most of them are quite fluent in English. There‘s also a whole thing with stickers, the staff at the hotel and at the park hand them out to anyone who wants them, and even we got caught up in the frenzy and started collecting them.

Even the candy floss is more fluffy in Disneyland, I swear!

It’s not all consumerism and tchotchkes, though. I did some research when I got back home a few days later, and it turns out that Disney is in the midst of installing what will become the city‘s largest solar power system, producing as much clean energy as would be required to run nearly 600 3-person households! So there‘s that (I know, doesn‘t exactly eradicate the amount of plastic the place produces...)

Disneyland: What you Expect, and yet Unexpected

As I hinted at before, I do have some issues generally with Disney - it‘s all the usual stuff, like the perpetuation of gender, race and sexual stereotypes, plus all the big consumerism polluter stuff. And that‘s all alive and well at Disneyland Hong Kong as it is anywhere else,no question.

On the other hand, I was pleasantly surprised at how much greenspace the park includes, and how much attention they have given to highlighting and promoting the local culture. For example, in addition to the typical North American breakfast foods at breakfast that morning, the buffet was also brimming with more traditional local foods and delicacies appropriate to the geographic area. Another example is the Mystic Mansion experience. Apart from being probably the coolest technological ride I‘ve ever experienced, it reimagines the traditional North American „haunted house“ to make it more culturally appropriate... if somewhat exotically glamourized and leaning towards the imperial obsession with „orientalism“!

Look, if you‘re hoping for an eco-adventure led by a black lesbian, you won‘t find that here. But if you‘re looking for a little magic and some unexpected bonuses, Disneyland is the place for you - especially if you can find a way to enjoy it as we did, on a nearly empty day.

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A Day with the elephants

12/7/2019

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Spending a magical day in the jungle with five retired female elephants in Phuket in November was definitely the highlight of our trip to Thailand, and truthfully one of the most touching experiences of my life. Over the past several years, I’ve been following a few wildlife accounts on social media, but there is something quite enchanting about experiencing these beautiful giants up close, especially in the context of a retirement sanctuary.

Anyone visiting Thailand is likely familiar with the significance of elephants in Thai history and culture. What many people don’t realize, however, is the complexity of Thai elephants’ history of abuse.

In the past, elephants were used in the logging industry, as well as for riding camps and circuses. Although the former is basically illegal now, many elephants are still used for the latter two purposes. Rather than suddenly become unemployed overnight, many who owned elephants in the logging industry opened riding camps, where the creatures continue to be abused so that tourists can get their instagram shots atop an elephant.

More recently, pressure has been mounting to dismount the elephants. With the resulting decrease in riding camps has come an increase in “sanctuaries”, where in many cases volunteers pay to spend a day “helping” the elephants - this consists mainly of feeding them, walking them and bathing them with mud. The latter two activities are particularly intimate and not really appropriate for wild animals. Research shows that elephants rehabilitated successfully and released into the wild choose to move further from humans over time. Also, the endless bathing activities with new groups of noisy strangers can prove stressful to these intelligent and highly social (amongst themselves) creatures. Moreover, many so-called sanctuaries, it has been found, still use questionable “training” methods in order to ingratiate themselves with human visitors, most of whom remain woefully misinformed when it comes to elephant rescue.

It’s tough, therefore, for those traveling to Thailand and who want to spend time with these majestic creatures in a humane way, to know where to begin. And many tourists, it seems, do little to no research before embarking on their elephant adventure.

We did some research; at least, we knew enough to avoid the riding camps.

We selected from online an outfit that seemed to have very little to no physical interaction with the elephants, one that focused, rather, on education and delicious vegetarian food. The program offered much observation and learning about the elephants; we even feed them a few times, and since we had booked a full-day experience, we were treated to an extended buffet lunch followed by a cozy nap in our own private “treehouse” overlooking a little lake.

The Phuket Elephant Sanctuary is a 3-year-old ecological park in Pa Klock, Phuket. Located on 30 acres of largely forested land with several water sources, it is currently home to five female elephants who have been rescued (purchased) from previous places of employment ranging from illegal logging, to riding camps, to begging. In all cases, these elephants were mistreated in their pre-sanctuary life, and showed signs of physical and/or emotional distress.

The sanctuary’s founder, formerly himself a trekking camp owner, was inspired to take a new approach to elephant tourism when he retired a physically disabled elephant to Lek Chailert’s Elephant Nature Park in Chiang Mai. Chailert became somewhat of a mentor to him as he developed his own park in Phuket.

The Phuket Elephant Sanctuary takes a largely “observation-only” approach, though we were permitted and encouraged to feed the elephants twice during our visit.

They really do seem to take more of a rehabilitative and elephant-focused retirement approach, however; in addition to hydrotherapy (which two of the more physically disabled elephants were engaging in while we visited), there are a number of streams and ponds on the property that the elephants can bathe in - without a slew of tourists joining them!

In the morning, we watched an informative video about elephant tourism in Thailand generally and Phuket in particular.

After meandering around part of the property observing the elephants and their mahouds at some distance, we came back to the main building for a tasty vegetarian buffet, followed by some free time lounging about in the treehouse.

After lunch, it was time to go for a hike in the jungle to pick some bamboo and banana leaves for one of the older elephants, who was not yet spending much time outside her large stockade, on account of her anxiety and hostility towards other elephants and people.

We learned about elephant communication, as well as what they like to eat. One interesting thing we learned was that the mahouds who came from Myanmar (Burma), as several of them did, had to learn at least some Thai, since the elephants knew only Thai from their previous decades of interaction with humans!

Then the three of us headed out to the jungle with our two guides to collect browse.

Along the way, we passed by two elephants wandering about with their mahouds, and also learned about the rubber tree forests that were being tapped to make latex products.

Then we took a short break to enjoy some refreshing water that had been infused with banyan leaves, a welcome treat on such a hot and sweaty day!

After hiking back with our treasures, we unpacked for the recipent’s mahoud to sort and feed the elephant. Then we moved back to the main building to prepare the afternoon “snack” for the elephants (a large basket of bananas, melon and other fruit that would be fed to them by the next group of tourists).

We also made “rice balls”, which consisted of rice, squash, bananas and some sort of nutritional supplement, mashed together and formed into balls, which we were later able to feed two of the elephants with no teeth!

There is really something quite entrancing about watching these giants with their long trunks rustling about. They are big and move slowly, and yet they seem so graceful, somehow.

Spending a day at the Phuket Elephant Sanctuary in Paklok brought with it many treasured memories, and not once did I feel like I needed to be in the water with them bathing together to get a full appreciation of these magnificent creatures!

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How to do NYE when you’re old and boring

A Stopover in the Most Magical (and Safest?) Place on Earth

A Day with the elephants

About Vera...

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