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How lack of courage on the streetcar could be indicative of the potential demise of our nation

9/12/2015

1 Comment

 
One of my pet peeves is people who blast their music on public transit either through cheap, crappy headphones or none at all. 

Apart from the fact that the music is usually annoying pop music of some sort, devoid of more advanced artistic merit of any appreciable kind, I just find it incredibly rude that someone would choose to be in a public space and force their particular auditory tastes upon everyone around them. 
Picture
Stefanie Tanner "How Rude" reblogged from Queen of the Food Age
Now granted, public spaces are bound to have some noise; people chatting with the person next to them, rustling in their bags, soothing crying babies and so on. But those types of "daily life" sound bites are considerably different from the purposeful subjection of innocent fellow TTC riders to the not-so-melodious strains of crappy pop music!

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photo credit: Armstrong Roberts, reblogged from the Guardian
Today I had another such experience, and -- fed up with the invasion of my personal auditory space -- decided to take it to the next level... after first turning to look disapprovingly back at the suspect and getting no response, I turned around again and asked whether the guy could not turn down his music or initiate the use of headphones to spare us all.

His response was to turn the music up.

After contemplating my next move for a few minutes with his pounding pop continuing in the background, I stood up, turned to face the fellow, and firmly requested that he turn off his music or put on some headphones. 

For my troubles I was told to mind my own business by the perpetrator of poor musical taste and limited social acumen. 

When I suggested that I was trying to mind my own business, but that I was finding it difficult due to his insistence that we all listen to his loud, annoying music, he asked "what's the problem? It's Saturday!" and followed up his illogical defence by calling me a "stupid bitch."
Picture
reblogged from bizpac review
Shocked as I was by his rude response, I attempted to maintain a facade of calm.

I also remained undeterred by my internal confusion over the relevance of weekday on social niceties and public spaces, and resisted the temptation to demand an explanation, instead telling him that he had no right to call me a stupid bitch, since he knew nothing about me, whereas I -- and now everyone around us -- knew at least two facts about him, namely that he had no musical taste, and that he had no concept of appropriate public transit behavior.

His next line attack was belittlement and misogyny: "What's the matter, honey? Having a bad day?" he wondered aloud in a patronizing voice.
Picture
reblogged from New Wave Feminism
After clarifying for my new friend in no uncertain terms that I was not his "honey", I proceeded to the front of the streetcar to alert the driver that someone in the back was listening to loud music without headphones, that my request to turn the music down had been met with rude aggression, and that I was now not feeling safe.
Picture
reblogged from geektyrant.com
The driver was fantastic. He immediately stopped his vehicle, came to the back of the Streetcar, and calmly but firmly told the fellow there had been a complaint from another passenger, and that he needed to either turn off his device or put on headphones.

"I'm not allowed to listen to music?" the idiot ventured, but was quickly shut down by the driver, who maintained his cool, and calmly told the fellow that he was most certainly welcome to listen to music… through headphones!!!

The moron finally turned off his device, and the rest of the ride proceeded in relatively uneventful fashion. 
Picture
reblogged from Twitter
I was pretty shaken up by the whole thing, but what really troubled me was not so much the headphone-less idiot, but the fact that none of my fellow riders, who -- by their verbal appreciation of the driver's intervention and by their quiet comments to me after the perpetrator's departure -- had shown themselves to be on the "my side", had not supported me in any way while I myself was involved in the initial altercation.  Not one of them had lent a word of support or tried to convince the unmusical idiot to behave himself!

Even when he called me a "stupid bitch", and the scenario threatened to become more escalated than a simple streetcar disagreement, no one stood up to intervene.

Why not?
Picture
fearful sheep reblogged from MS artwork.com
Why is it that people will not stand up for what they want and what they know to be right? Have we become such a fearful society that we would rather take a long bus or streetcar ride with someone blasting annoying music or loudly yelling swearwords (another pet peeve of mine, and one I've unfortunately experienced often in my sojourns on Mississauga and Toronto public transit in recent years) than support one another in standing up to and educating these morons?

I am saddened that people think they can noisily pursue their auditory preferences without any regard for their fellow passengers while riding public transit, but I am sadder by far that as a society we seem to lack the gumption to either stand up to perpetrators like this, or support each other with words or actions when one of us finds the courage to actually do so. 
Picture
reblogged from standupforgood.com
With a federal election on the horizon, I shudder to think how this sort of societal inertia will affect voter turnout or willingness to educate ourselves on issues of national importance: If we cannot find it within ourselves to speak up against someone who imposes on our personal space in a streetcar, how will we take a stand against someone who wants to strip a whole city or even an entire nation of basic human and/or environmental rights? 
Picture
"Less than Inspiring" reblogged from Huffpost
Based on my streetcar experience today, we Canadians will have no one to blame for the demise of our nation but ourselves!
1 Comment
Ganong
9/12/2015 10:46:03 pm

Yes, well.... This is a rather familiar scene to me. I was sent running to Google to look up "bystander effect", but find that this may in large part be the theory that willingness of a bystander to support someone like you in such a situation is inversely proportional to the number of bysit -- er, bystanders present. I think your concern -- and mine -- is something more basic than this.

Other issues of course come into play -- something called "group cohesiveness", for instance. There's no question that condemnation of murder is pretty universal across the planet. But what about condemnation of public noise? For at least three and perhaps five decades, I have wondered whether I am an increasingly rare exception to ubiquitous apathy about noise. -- How many of the bystanders in your incident were wearing headphones themselves, hence perhaps oblivious to the problem of the social Neanderthal with whom you had to deal? How many *prefer* loud, bad music to silence?? (Witness many restaurants these years.) I have to wonder to what extent you and I are members of "the group".

Had I been present at your confrontation, I'd have spoken up. I'd like to think that I'd also have turned to others nearby and asked why they were not doing so as well. You are very much not a stranger to me, but I hope that I would have supported you strongly if you were. The verbal abuse you suffered would only have strengthened my outrage, and rapidly enlisted my own considerable skills at verbal aggression.

Political cohesion, if it ever existed, has largely disappeared in many democratic countries. The widening and proliferating splits in the United States have been a subject of discussion for decades."Sheeple" has been a term in common use among the politically active for as long. Unlike you, I am very pessimistic about things.

I do voice a loud "Brava! Bravissima!" for your part in the creetstar encounter, though. Your willingness to speak out in such situations is one of many things I very much like about you.

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    About Vera...

    Vera & her Sons, April 2021
    After writing for several teacher and multiple birth publications, including ETFO's Voice Magazine, Multiple Moments, and the Bulletwin, Vera turned her written attention to prolific blogging for some years, including BiB,  "Learn to Fly with Vera!"  and SMARTbansho .  Homeschooling 4 was her travel blog in Argentina.  She now spends more time on her Instagram (@schalgzeug_usw)  than her blog (pictures are worth a thousand words?!) 
    DISCLAIMER
    The views expressed on this blog are the views of the author, and do not necessarily represent the perspectives of her family members or the position of her employer on the the issues she blogs about.  These posts are intended to share resources, document family life, and encourage critical thought on a variety of subjects.  They are not intended to cause harm to any individual or member of any group. By reading this blog and viewing this site, you agree to not hold Vera liable for any harm done by views expressed in this blog.
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Vera C. Teschow, OCT, M.Ed., MOT
Toronto, ON & St Peter's Harbour, PE
www.verateschow.ca 2021
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