During the pandemic, a culture of identity politics came into vogue. It’s been deemed inclusive by some, but problematic by others. Sometime around 2021, I began to question my undying commitment to the gender ideology movement, and since that time, I have been called a transphobe and a TERF, usually by folks who know me only superficially, if at all.
For some time now, I’ve been meaning to address the issue head on, but then life got in the way. This year, however, I decided to take a break from my generally politics-free profile on Facebook and instead leverage Pride month to post a few longer posts about my experiences as a gender non-conforming woman. In tandem with that, I am also finally getting around to finishing my blog posts about the topic of identity politics and in particular, the gender ideology movement and its impact on me as a lesbian. I hope you enjoy these posts.
For some time now, I’ve been meaning to address the issue head on, but then life got in the way. This year, however, I decided to take a break from my generally politics-free profile on Facebook and instead leverage Pride month to post a few longer posts about my experiences as a gender non-conforming woman. In tandem with that, I am also finally getting around to finishing my blog posts about the topic of identity politics and in particular, the gender ideology movement and its impact on me as a lesbian. I hope you enjoy these posts.
Those of you who follow me on IG will know that in recent years, I have begun posting (or rather, reposting) posts about what some might loosely call “trans issues” on my Instagram stories. In sharp contrast to the daily life photos and nature images I typically share in my main feed, these more politically charged reposts fall primarily into two categories: Posts concerning the impact of the gender ideology movement on young people, and posts about the intrusion of men in women’s spaces.
As a result of these posts, I have faced criticism by some individuals and institutions, largely from those who are unfamiliar with my long-standing work as an advocate for social justice, equity and inclusion.
My intent in these three blog posts is to clarify my position, and to encourage critical thinking around gender/sex and other more generally important issues. I welcome lively debate and respectful sharing of broad perspectives, however, I will not tolerate hateful or revenge-motivated comments.
Also, this one’s a lot of writing, and few photos. Fair warning.
As a result of these posts, I have faced criticism by some individuals and institutions, largely from those who are unfamiliar with my long-standing work as an advocate for social justice, equity and inclusion.
My intent in these three blog posts is to clarify my position, and to encourage critical thinking around gender/sex and other more generally important issues. I welcome lively debate and respectful sharing of broad perspectives, however, I will not tolerate hateful or revenge-motivated comments.
Also, this one’s a lot of writing, and few photos. Fair warning.
Vocabulary: A Primer
Since language matters and words are the building blocks of our conversations and ideas, let’s begin with a primer of some vocabulary related to LGBTQ+ issues.
It continues to shock me in this day and age with the availability of the internet, how few terms many people know and understand. However, it also annoys and frustrates me when those deeply emerged in the work refuse to support those still learning. Yes, fellow rainbow community, it IS our job to educate answer seekers… or at least, share our perspective with those brave enough to ask us about it.
So, for those of you still new to the conversation, below are a few basic definitions.
Sex – your biological sex, i.e. male (XX) or female (XY)*. Sex is based on a series of physical traits largely organized around the intention** of procreation. Male bodies are small gamete producers and female bodies produce large gametes.
Gender – too often conflated with sex, gender refers to the identify that comes with the set of societally imposed “norms” aligning with each of the two sexes. Gender comprises things like clothing, haircuts, hobbies, behaviour, etc. Folks may behave, look and act the way they are “supposed to” according to their sex, or not. Or a little of both. (The “little of both” is sometimes referred to as being “Gender Non-Binary”, or ENBY, especially by younger people within the queer community.)
Gender dysphoria – when someone feels at odds between their body or perceived gender and how they feel “inside”, they may suffer gender dysphoria, sometimes also referred to as gender or body dysmorphia.
Gender non-conforming (GNC) – when girls or boys, or adult men or women, do not dress, speak or behave in a way that is expected of them based on their sex, they are gender non-conforming.
Intersex – It is rare but possible for humans to be born with an additional X or Y, for example, those born with Klinefelter syndrome (XXY females), Swyer syndrome and other differences of sex development (DSDs) in which males or females may have some physical traits of the opposite sex. DSD is a medical term, and some individuals with a DSD may refer to themselves as “Intersex”.
Gay – Shorthand for homosexual, i.e. boys who like boys in “that way”, or girls who like girls.
Lesbian – The female form of gay. (Some lesbians just refer to themselves as gay.) Adult human female who is attracted to other adult human females.
Bisexual - being attracted to both sexes.
Queer – an umbrella term for anyone not “straight” or heterosexual. Initially used as a slur, the term “queer” was reclaimed by many as a proud moniker of being just a little bit outside the norm. Nowadays, many self-identify as queer without a specific sub label; it has become a bit of a catch all, though also a signifier to those of us critical of the movement that one best not question or rock the boat in any way with the person who so identifies, as they tend not to be open to any sort of critique.
Transwoman – A man who self identifies as a woman. Sometimes referred to as trans-identified males (TIMs), some transwomen choose to undergo “bottom surgery” to remove and/or reconstruct their male genitalia, have facial feminization surgery, take female hormones, etc.
Transman – A woman who identifies as a man. Some transmen choose to cut off their breasts (known as “top surgery” or a mastectomy), take male hormones to lower their voices and help with visual identifiers such as hair growth, etc.
Deadname – Many trans people choose a different name for themselves when they transition. For example, David may become Davina, or they may choose a more gender neutral name. Their “deadname” is the name they were given at birth or adoption.
Detransitioners – Formerly trans-identified individuals who have embarked on a journey to physically detransition and return to their actual sex. I.e. a woman who may have thought she was “male” and had an mastectomy and started male hormones now recognizes that she is in fact a woman and attempts to return to living as a woman. She stops taking male hormones, etc.)
Autogynephilic – sometimes called AGP for short, this term refers to men who feel arousal at the thought of themselves as women. (Think “cross dressers” from previous decades.) Some have strong and detailed rape fantasies in which they are the woman.
TERF – “Trans-exclusionary radical feminist”, the term TERF is used as a slur, usually by gender ideologues, towards women who question the current mainstream narrative that anyone can be a woman, and that biological women should not have access to spaces or rights protected on the grounds of sex. Those who question the focus on gender ideology in schools are also sometimes labeled TERFs. Some of those who speak up for women’s rights have adopted the term of a badge of honour.
Transbian – a trans identified male who self-identifies as a lesbian, and who typically demands to be treated as such, e.g., insisting on inclusion in lesbian-themed events and/or on lesbian dating apps.
I hope the above information is a helpful start. Please note, the above list is not an exhaustive one, and the definitions merely scratch the surface; I encourage you to take some time to google further, and ask questions of people you know and trust if details are confusing. There is a LOT of controversy about all things remotely related to the alphabet soup right now, so some “facts” cannot be taken at face value. Apply vigorous critical literacy skills as you go, please!
The Alphabet Soup & the Pride Flag
Many outside the community (and indeed some of us inside it!) struggle with the ever-increasing list of terms. For me, it’s this simple: the first three, i.e. LGB, refer to sexual orientation, i.e. lesbian, gay or bisexual. The inclusion of T for trans confounds me. To me, gender identity is such a completely different thing than sexual orientation, the two don’t really belong together.
The beautiful rainbow pride flag has also, in recent years, undergone transition… in some places, it is now impossible to find the original, which has been replaced by the ubiquitous “progress pride” flag, including brown and black (to signify support for the BIPOC community, or Black, Indigenous and People of Colour) and baby blue and pink, the trans colours (which have also been associated with pedophilia, or the more palatable “minor attracted persons” MAP community), and more recently, a circle representing the Intersex symbol.
Since language matters and words are the building blocks of our conversations and ideas, let’s begin with a primer of some vocabulary related to LGBTQ+ issues.
It continues to shock me in this day and age with the availability of the internet, how few terms many people know and understand. However, it also annoys and frustrates me when those deeply emerged in the work refuse to support those still learning. Yes, fellow rainbow community, it IS our job to educate answer seekers… or at least, share our perspective with those brave enough to ask us about it.
So, for those of you still new to the conversation, below are a few basic definitions.
Sex – your biological sex, i.e. male (XX) or female (XY)*. Sex is based on a series of physical traits largely organized around the intention** of procreation. Male bodies are small gamete producers and female bodies produce large gametes.
- (* There are some variations to this – see “Intersex” below)
- ( ** I use the word “intention” because that is their intended biological purpose from a design perspective, however, not all females can and do bear children.)
Gender – too often conflated with sex, gender refers to the identify that comes with the set of societally imposed “norms” aligning with each of the two sexes. Gender comprises things like clothing, haircuts, hobbies, behaviour, etc. Folks may behave, look and act the way they are “supposed to” according to their sex, or not. Or a little of both. (The “little of both” is sometimes referred to as being “Gender Non-Binary”, or ENBY, especially by younger people within the queer community.)
Gender dysphoria – when someone feels at odds between their body or perceived gender and how they feel “inside”, they may suffer gender dysphoria, sometimes also referred to as gender or body dysmorphia.
Gender non-conforming (GNC) – when girls or boys, or adult men or women, do not dress, speak or behave in a way that is expected of them based on their sex, they are gender non-conforming.
Intersex – It is rare but possible for humans to be born with an additional X or Y, for example, those born with Klinefelter syndrome (XXY females), Swyer syndrome and other differences of sex development (DSDs) in which males or females may have some physical traits of the opposite sex. DSD is a medical term, and some individuals with a DSD may refer to themselves as “Intersex”.
Gay – Shorthand for homosexual, i.e. boys who like boys in “that way”, or girls who like girls.
Lesbian – The female form of gay. (Some lesbians just refer to themselves as gay.) Adult human female who is attracted to other adult human females.
Bisexual - being attracted to both sexes.
Queer – an umbrella term for anyone not “straight” or heterosexual. Initially used as a slur, the term “queer” was reclaimed by many as a proud moniker of being just a little bit outside the norm. Nowadays, many self-identify as queer without a specific sub label; it has become a bit of a catch all, though also a signifier to those of us critical of the movement that one best not question or rock the boat in any way with the person who so identifies, as they tend not to be open to any sort of critique.
Transwoman – A man who self identifies as a woman. Sometimes referred to as trans-identified males (TIMs), some transwomen choose to undergo “bottom surgery” to remove and/or reconstruct their male genitalia, have facial feminization surgery, take female hormones, etc.
Transman – A woman who identifies as a man. Some transmen choose to cut off their breasts (known as “top surgery” or a mastectomy), take male hormones to lower their voices and help with visual identifiers such as hair growth, etc.
Deadname – Many trans people choose a different name for themselves when they transition. For example, David may become Davina, or they may choose a more gender neutral name. Their “deadname” is the name they were given at birth or adoption.
Detransitioners – Formerly trans-identified individuals who have embarked on a journey to physically detransition and return to their actual sex. I.e. a woman who may have thought she was “male” and had an mastectomy and started male hormones now recognizes that she is in fact a woman and attempts to return to living as a woman. She stops taking male hormones, etc.)
Autogynephilic – sometimes called AGP for short, this term refers to men who feel arousal at the thought of themselves as women. (Think “cross dressers” from previous decades.) Some have strong and detailed rape fantasies in which they are the woman.
TERF – “Trans-exclusionary radical feminist”, the term TERF is used as a slur, usually by gender ideologues, towards women who question the current mainstream narrative that anyone can be a woman, and that biological women should not have access to spaces or rights protected on the grounds of sex. Those who question the focus on gender ideology in schools are also sometimes labeled TERFs. Some of those who speak up for women’s rights have adopted the term of a badge of honour.
Transbian – a trans identified male who self-identifies as a lesbian, and who typically demands to be treated as such, e.g., insisting on inclusion in lesbian-themed events and/or on lesbian dating apps.
I hope the above information is a helpful start. Please note, the above list is not an exhaustive one, and the definitions merely scratch the surface; I encourage you to take some time to google further, and ask questions of people you know and trust if details are confusing. There is a LOT of controversy about all things remotely related to the alphabet soup right now, so some “facts” cannot be taken at face value. Apply vigorous critical literacy skills as you go, please!
The Alphabet Soup & the Pride Flag
Many outside the community (and indeed some of us inside it!) struggle with the ever-increasing list of terms. For me, it’s this simple: the first three, i.e. LGB, refer to sexual orientation, i.e. lesbian, gay or bisexual. The inclusion of T for trans confounds me. To me, gender identity is such a completely different thing than sexual orientation, the two don’t really belong together.
The beautiful rainbow pride flag has also, in recent years, undergone transition… in some places, it is now impossible to find the original, which has been replaced by the ubiquitous “progress pride” flag, including brown and black (to signify support for the BIPOC community, or Black, Indigenous and People of Colour) and baby blue and pink, the trans colours (which have also been associated with pedophilia, or the more palatable “minor attracted persons” MAP community), and more recently, a circle representing the Intersex symbol.
Related but Separate
Wanting to separate the LGB from the T+ doesn’t signify to me that one is transphobic. What it signifies to me is a desire to focus the work on the Pride community. And I don’t think saying that means one can’t support both causes.
I think it’s important for those of us who are gay, lesbian and bisexual to stand up against discrimination in all its forms, but also to be able to have spaces – both online and in-person – where we can discuss issues specific to our needs. Moreover, we as a community have spent so many decades convincing the general public that we are “normal”, i.e. that we go to work, pay our taxes, do our laundry and grocery shopping, take the kids to school, etc., that many of us are very concerned about the infiltration of what we see as problematic perspectives. For example, I am NOT okay with increasing supports for pedophiles, I don’t care what they want to call themselves. Moreover, as a lesbian, I am tired of being told that I have to share my online platforms with men who identify as women. I don’t think this makes me transphobic, I’m not opposed to transfolks having their own spaces in which to share ideas, needs, concerns, hopes, dreams… and we can even have some shared spaces. I’m just not prepared to give up the special protected spaces we have fought long and hard for ourselves, and I don’t see why it has to be an either/or situation.
I hope this vocabulary primer and related commentary serves as a helpful entry point to exploring whether or not I am a “transphobe”.
Wanting to separate the LGB from the T+ doesn’t signify to me that one is transphobic. What it signifies to me is a desire to focus the work on the Pride community. And I don’t think saying that means one can’t support both causes.
I think it’s important for those of us who are gay, lesbian and bisexual to stand up against discrimination in all its forms, but also to be able to have spaces – both online and in-person – where we can discuss issues specific to our needs. Moreover, we as a community have spent so many decades convincing the general public that we are “normal”, i.e. that we go to work, pay our taxes, do our laundry and grocery shopping, take the kids to school, etc., that many of us are very concerned about the infiltration of what we see as problematic perspectives. For example, I am NOT okay with increasing supports for pedophiles, I don’t care what they want to call themselves. Moreover, as a lesbian, I am tired of being told that I have to share my online platforms with men who identify as women. I don’t think this makes me transphobic, I’m not opposed to transfolks having their own spaces in which to share ideas, needs, concerns, hopes, dreams… and we can even have some shared spaces. I’m just not prepared to give up the special protected spaces we have fought long and hard for ourselves, and I don’t see why it has to be an either/or situation.
I hope this vocabulary primer and related commentary serves as a helpful entry point to exploring whether or not I am a “transphobe”.
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